How To Speak to Your Parent with Dementia & Maintain Meaningful Conversations

Having regular, caring conversations with a parent who has dementia can be super challenging. As their condition progresses, you may notice changes in how they communicate and process information. Sudden anger, aggressive reactions,lack of responses are common occurences. But maintaining those vital social connections remains incredibly important for their well-being and can help reduce feelings of isolation.

‍

Here are proven approaches to make your conversations more effective and meaningful:

Keep It Simple and Pleasant

Use clear, short sentences. In other words, keep it simple for them to process the information you give them in the conversation.
Limit your vocabulary. The breadth of the vocabulary they use is not as wide as it used to be. Adapt to it.
Speak in a warm, calm tone, don’t raise your voice even if you are frustrated
Allow extra time for them to process and respond, We are used to short pauses, older adults with dementia have much longer gaps between sentences. It might be uncomfortable for us to wait 3 or more seconds but they are just processing the information at a different pace, nothing wrong there.
Focus on one topic at a time. Changing topic too quickly is hard for them. The focus on one topic and the continuity helps them connect.

Build on Their Interests Remember their lifelong passions and experiences. Whether it’s gardening, history, or their career, connecting conversations to familiar topics helps them engage more confidently.

‍

Don’t Correct, Connect

If they share memories that seem confused or incorrect, avoid contradicting them. Instead, focus on the emotions they’re expressing and validate their feelings. No need to say “Mom, this is wrong”, it will only complicate the situation. Follow the story and get back to it later under a different angle.

‍

How inTouch Can Help

Our AI companion makes daily check-in calls to your parent, using conversation techniques specifically designed for people with dementia. The AI:

Speaks at an appropriate pace with natural long pauses. Take the time to slow down, be present, listen to listen, not to achieve anything or defend. Easy to write but often hard to achieve.
Ask simple, clear questions about topics they enjoy.
Maintains patience and a consistent, friendly tone. The good thing about Marie, our conversation specialist, is that she has infinite patience. Unlike us, nothing irks her and she always takes a very emphatic approach to all situations.
Provides gentle memory prompts when needed. Older adults love to think of the past and their best moments, it is actually a critical part of their legacy work. Bringing them back in these key moments of life is something Marie does well.
Sends you updates about their mood and engagement. In our inTouch mobile application (both iOS and Android), you get updates on the frequency of the conversations, the mood of your parent and a brief summary of key concerns. This way, when you go visit or call your parent, you already know what to focus on.

You’ll receive detailed summaries of these conversations, helping you stay informed about your parent’s wellbeing while complementing your own calls and visits.

Remember: These AI conversations don’t replace your relationship – they enhance it by providing additional daily social interaction and support when you can’t be there in person.